A common refrain I hear among my accent reduction clients is “Wait, that’s how you pronounce that word!? I’ve been mispronouncing it for twenty years , why didn’t my husband tell me!” Or “my wife”. Or “my friends”. Or my “co-workers”.

There’s a simple reason. As Americans, most of us are taught to respect the immigrant experience, but unfortunately this benevolent notion seems to have had unintended consequences. We now live in a culture that is quick to upbraid those who are deemed culturally insensitive, even if their intentions are good, and their offenses slight. Newt Gingrich, Robert DeNiro, Bill Maher, and Juan Williams are just a few celebrities across the political spectrum that have gotten caught up in one controversy or another. Bottom line: It’s very, very easy to be misunderstood and judged these days.

This plays out in the world of linguistics. Fluent speakers of English are reluctant to correct mispronunciations on the part of the ESL speaker due to a fear of being labeled insensitive. I have never met an ESL client who said to me “Americans are just so rude, they are constantly correcting my speech.” It’s always the opposite; “Why is nobody helping me with my language skills or offering constructive feedback?”

As a practical matter, most of us want to feel assimilated, feel a part of the culture that we live in. As it stands in 2012, part and parcel of feeling assimilated in America is being able to speak English fluently. This does not invalidate the many amazing accents and dialects that exist in American culture. This does not necessitate the relinquishing of one’s ability to speak other languages well, nor does it necessitate that one abandon one’s use of their accent-of-origin. It simply means that it is painful to be misunderstood on a daily basis, and that taking steps to avoid this suffering (and yes it is suffering) is to be commended.

So let’s honor the commitment of those who try to improve their fluency by being a little less sensitive around the issue. For those who speak English well, native- born or not, you can make a difference in the lives of those around you. If a friend of yours is constantly mispronouncing an important word, consider helping them out. A simple, polite question to start might be, “Can I give you a little tip with that word?” You may be surprised how well people respond.

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