Clients often say to me “I understand how to relax my nerves before a speech, but what do I do when I feel nervous while I’m speaking?” This is a tricky problem, but solvable. Check out Chimamanda Adichie’s TED speech above. Ms. Adichie has a wonderfully crafted speech, there is a clear intention to it, and she states that intention early: “I am here to talk about the danger of a single story.” The speech is filled with wonderful stories that all work effectively to prove Ms. Adichie’s central premise.

But she’s tense at the top. Her breathing is a little labored, and her voice quivers a bit. Does it matter? Not terribly. Why? Because she handles it well. She stops when she needs to, takes a break when she needs to, slows herself down, and breathes. Great speakers own their speeches not by powering through tension, but by yielding to relaxation. Speaking is a letting go, a releasing of thoughts, of feelings, of ideas. Tension is simply the opposite of that; it happens when a speaker is trying to make a moment into something other than what it really is. Made a mistake? Don’t worry. Laugh, sip some water, breath. Start again. Feel your hands shaking? STOP. Breathe. Start again. Lost your place? Ditto.

Statistically speaking, our number one fear, NUMBER ONE, is speaking in public. What does that mean? As Jerry Seinfeld once observed, most of the people attending a funeral would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. It’s natural to feel nervous while speaking in public, the question is, what do you do about it? Stop speaking, embrace the silence, breathe, begin again.

Jeffrey Davis is the owner of Speak Clear Communications. He is a public speaking coach and accent reduction coach in New York City. Click here to contact Jeffrey for a free 2o minute in person speech consultation.

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