If I had to name the topic that comes up most in my coaching sessions with public speaking clients, it’s public speaking anxiety. I make a good living from this fear! Statistically speaking, most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death, which means that most of us would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. So what gives? How do we learn to manage this massive fear?

The first step is to give up trying. That’s right, give up. A speech is not a worksheet, it is not a project deadline, it is not a task to be completed, it is a living breathing thing. It is you; your ideas, your stories (hopefully), your point of view. Why would you feel perfectly relaxed? You are sharing you, and if you are sharing you, you shouldn’t feel perfectly comfortable. Yes ladies and gentleman, a great speech requires breathing through the discomfort, breathing through the fear…acceptance, not denial of the fact that you are vulnerable. It is only when we resist this reality that public speaking anxiety becomes a problem.

So let go of your desire to ask “why am I feeling this way?” and embrace “I accept the challenge of making my thoughts, feelings, and creativity known.” You won’t feel perfectly relaxed, but you will give a fantastic speech.

Jeffrey Davis is the owner of Speak Clear Communications. He is an executive public speaking coach and accent reduction coach in New York City.

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