I’m a big believer in the present moment. Why not, right? The present moment is all you got.
This week I had a client who seemed very tense when he walked in for a coaching session with me. This is not uncommon; public speaking is one of our greatest fears, it’s perfectly natural to feel keyed up before you speak. But this guy’s energy felt off; he was cutting me off before I could finish my thoughts, staring out vacantly from time to time, and rushing through his presentation. The problem wasn’t his tension, but, rather, his lack of awareness around his tension.
I put the problem to my client; why are you rushing? You feel really “not here”…how do you correct that? He stopped speeding through his presentation, and breathed for a moment. He looked at me directly, with self-awareness, with presence, for the first time in our session together and said, “I guess I am a little tense today”. Yes. And from then on he was fine. Not because he felt perfectly relaxed, nobody feels perfectly relaxed, but because he became conscious of his tension, and that awareness itself was enough to do the trick.
Don’t bother with trying to feel relaxed while presenting. Presenting is nerve wracking. But do try to be conscious, aware of yourself in the moments before, during and while you present. Try doing this with a non-judgmental attitude, simply noticing what comes up, even if it’s tension. If you need a point of focus, follow your breath. You might be happy with the results.
Should you use note cards while presenting? In a nutshell, yes. I know, your boss doesn’t like it, but let’s be honest, in lieu of notes, you usually just read off your PowerPoint slides, right? Not so good. Remember PowerPoint is not your speech, you’re the speech, your ideas, your thoughts; PowerPoint is just there to enhance the experience. Why not put your notes on your ipad? Or your iPhone? Or tuck them discreetly into a secondary window on your computer screen? Your boss is less likely to worry about your notes if they have a high-tech gloss, and you will have the added assurance of having some bullet points in front of you in case you get lost.
And yes, it should only be a few bullet points in front of you, not a series of paragraphs. If you write out your speech, and then present it verbatim, it’s likely to feel canned. Once you have thought hard about what you would like to say, backed it up with statistics, added comparisons, quotes, contrasts, humor, and analogies, there is only the need to write down the bare-bones structure of the speech, rehearse it out loud 3-5 times, and then review the ideas behind the speech silently. Then keep it loose, allow yourself to experiment with different wording, and relax because if you get into trouble, you can always glance at your notes!
I have mixed thoughts about Graham Hill’s TED speech.
He has a nice attention-getter; he utilizes a prop to make a point about how often we move from place to place, and the amount of things that we drag along. He has a simple premise; simplify, and some very nice examples. He uses PowerPoint very well, utilizing simple, entertaining images to drive his premise, and he does not clutter his slides with data.
But I’m still a little underwhelmed. And that’s because we’ve heard this speech before. It’s important to really sweat out what your premise is when you begin a speech. Once you’ve decided what you would like to do with the speech, whether it is to entertain, persuade, or educate, it’s crucial that you look for something novel or new to say with your speech. Unfortunately, we’ve heard many times before that we all ought to simplify our space, simplify our lives. There is nothing terribly novel about Mr. Hill’s speech, so it lacks power.
What might have helped? A new approach. Ok simplifying living spaces is your passion… how about discussing the concept of simplicity itself a bit more? Or delving a bit into why we clutter? Or connecting a personal story of your own to why you truly like to simplify? Personalizing a speech always creates more interest.
Yes, sometimes it’s good to go with your first instinct with a speech…but often, we need to sit with our premise for a long time, in order to reap its rewards.
What makes a good planned speech? Structure, yes, but a speech needs feeling as well. Too often presentations lack fire, emotion, feeling. Ok so maybe you’re talking about your firm’s software, and not about famine, or war, or politics, but there are still opportunities to connect your values to your speech, and to let your passion show.
I like Rex Ryan’s speech here. The tone is rude, and tough as nails, but given his environment, that makes perfect sense. He doesn’t have a lot of structure to what he is doing, but he does the most important things well; he makes eye contact, and he speaks from his heart.
Experiment with going off-script. This doesn’t mean you wing your presentations, or swear like a sailor like Rex Ryan does. Bad idea. It just means you learn to keep it loose and follow your train of thoughts and feelings first, and your notes second.
Caroline Casey gives a stirring speech here…let’s look at it from the perspective of leadership, and non-verbal communication. When we are presenting, we often feel that we need to move in a certain way, a way that conveys “leadership”. I find that trying to move in a way that conveys “leadership” or “confidence” just creates tension. I like the way Caroline Casey moves. She gestures freely, and speaks passionately, and doesn’t seem to be trying to imitate other speakers. She moves in a way that feels comfortable, a way that is her own . This is the key to conveying leadership with your body language, not imitating “successful speakers”, but finding a natural, organic way to move that expresses you.
Vocally, I think Caroline speaks eloquently and expressively; however, I would quibble with the pace at which she speaks. She’s motoring through the speech, and I think she would benefit if she slowed down a bit, took some deep breaths, and clarified her points a bit more.
What do you think creates a confident speaker? Do you move in a way that is comfortable to you? Do you speak with a voice that is your own, and not an imitation of other speakers?
If you haven’t had a chance to see the King’s Speech, do yourself a favor, and check it out. It’s a wonderful and well-crafted film about one man’s fear of his own greatness. It’s also a great tutorial on the role that emotions play in our speaking problems.
I coach executives, administrators, teachers, professors, artists, everybody, and the one problem I see over and over again is a tight jaw. Jaw tension is epidemic. Where does jaw tension come from? Some of it is physical, but a good portion of it is emotional. As Kritsin Linklater pointed out in her seminal book “Freeing the Natural Voice”, clear thinking equals clear articulation, and a free emotional life equals a rich, powerful sound.
So what is jaw tension? It’s over-socialization. It’s a habitual pattern developed over years. Throat and jaw tension often have a direct correlation to “swallowing” our thoughts, and our feelings. When we are young, and we are told not to think something, or not to feel something, perhaps because of social consequences, we tighten the jaw, and push away our thoughts and feelings. Over years this habitual pattern of repression, and it’s correlating muscular tension, builds into hardened, malignant tension.
How can jaw tension be cured? Through breathing exercises, muscular release, and learning, slowly over time, to express yourself freely. Yes folks, it is all related. Emotional release connects to muscular release. I see it time and again with my clients; as they feel freer to speak their mind, their speaking related problems begin to ebb.
So don’t hold back! If you do not speak your truth, the world will not have it. Speak clearly. Speak freely.
How much should you reveal in a speech? Should you put yourself on the line? Tell something private about yourself? In this speech, Tony Porter uses a number of deeply personal stories to drive home his point about the socialization of men. His thesis is stated early, and is crystal clear; men are taught to hide their emotions, and disrespect women, and this needs to change.
Many speakers would resort to dry statistics in order to prove their point, but Mr. Porter makes a much shrewder choice by using deeply personal stories. He begins with a story about his children, and his overbearing need to discipline his son because he is crying. He moves on to a story about his father crying in a limousine after a funeral, and then a story about his first sexual experience. Each story builds in intensity and personal revelation, and weaves effortlessly into his thesis. The effect is very powerful.
Statistics help build a case in a speech, but they are not the lifeblood a good speech. Good stories are at the heart of a good speech, and the more personal, the better. Ultimately, the audience wants to connect on a human level to a speaker, and deeply felt stories help build this intimacy.
So what do you think? Are you willing to tell a secret in a speech?
Gotta tell you I didn’t love this one. I really wanted to. John Stewart is a brilliant satirist, and he is wonderful on television, but he makes a mistake here that John Colbert manages to avoid when he speaks, namely he uses too many platitudes (“We can have animus and not be enemies”), and too many stale metaphors (comparing the American population to cars on the freeway).
The big public speaking sin, however, is that this speech simply lacks bite. Stewart has been hammering Fox News for years about their fear-mongering, and it was not lost on anyone that this march was a chance for Steward to really drive home his point. So what is his thesis?: “The press did not create our problems, but it’s existence makes solving them all that much harder”. Not exactly a call to action! Way to ride the fence. C’mon John why are you holding back?
The speech suffers from a desire to be too decorous and civil. Stewart doesn’t have the gumption to mention the networks, or the anchors, who are perpetuating fear, nor indict the culture that buys into the fear-mongering. Ultimately the speech turns into a gooey, sentimental, slack affair culminating in Stewart thanking the audience for being “present”. Snore.
In December of 1964, Mario Savio, a student at Berkley, gave a speech demanding that the university lift the ban of on-campus political activities, and honor the student’s right to free speech. Now here’s a speech with some bite:
What do you think? Was Steward brilliant or a bore?
Clients often say to me “I understand how to relax my nerves before a speech, but what do I do when I feel nervous while I’m speaking?” This is a tricky problem, but solvable. Check out Chimamanda Adichie’s TED speech above. Ms. Adichie has a wonderfully crafted speech, there is clear intention to it, and she states that intention early: “I am here to talk about the danger of a single story.” The speech is filled with wonderful stories that all work effectively to prove Ms. Adichie’s central premise.
But she’s tense at the top. Her breathing is a little labored, and her voice quivers a bit. Does it matter? Not terribly. Why? Because she handles it well. She stops when she needs to, takes a break when she needs to, slows herself down, and breathes. Great speakers own their speeches not by powering through tension, but by yielding to relaxation. Speaking is a letting go, a releasing, of thoughts, of feelings, of ideas. Tension is simply the opposite of that; it happens when a speaker is trying to make a moment into something other than what it really is. Made a mistake? Don’t worry. Laugh, sip some water, breath. Start again. Feel your hands shaking? STOP. Breath. Start again. Lost your place? Ditto.
Statistically speaking, our number one fear, NUMBER ONE, is speaking in public. What does that mean? It means that if you were at a funeral, most of the people attending would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. It’s natural to feel nervous while speaking in public, the question is, what do you do about it?
Since I seem to be big into blogging about Steven Colbert lately, I thought we would take a look at his congressional testimony from last week. The big question batting around the internet in regard to this speech is whether the tone is appropriate or not. Mr. Colbert was invited to speak in front of the House of Representatives in regard to illegal farm workers and the issue of immigration. Apparently someone had the brilliant idea of sending Mr. Colbert into a field to pick fruit for a few hours, and then testify before the House of Representatives on his experience. Of course, Mr. Colbert was completely outlandish, stayed in character, and, on occasion, mocked the very work he was presumed to defend.
From a public speaking standpoint, you could say that Colbert was tone-deaf, didn’t analyze the occasion thoroughly enough, and was inappropriate, but I think there is a larger question here begging to be asked, namely… what are these Representatives thinking!? And what is up with all the moralizing by politicians and the media regarding this speech? What did they think would happen? Mr. Colbert is a COMEDIAN. Why is he being invited to weigh in and give a speech before a sovereign governmental body on a topic of monumental national importance? It’s absurd. Personally, I think Mr. Colbert’s speech was perfectly appropriate. Satirists satirize. That is what they do. If the House of Representatives wanted an expert, they should have invited one. They invited a satirist, and the invitee turned the whole absurdity-pie around, and launched it into the face of those deserving, the House of Representatives.
I’m a big believer in the present moment. Why not, right? The present moment is all you got.
And what is up with all the moralizing by